10 PSYCHOLOGICAL TIPS FOR MANAGING THE FAMILY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE NEWBORN

1. Accept that your life has changed since your baby came along. This is the first step towards the parent adapting to the new status. Part of your time belongs to the child now. Gradually parental responsibilities (feeding the child, giving attention and playing with him, supervising him, etc.) are created and become part of the routine of the new family life. Rethink life’s priorities, but don’t neglect yourself.

2. Focus on your relationship with your newborn. The newborn will gradually monopolise the attention of the whole family and even acquaintances. Be attentive to your baby’s needs and try to do everything you can to make him comfortable and stay healthy. Don’t overdo it.

3. Accept help from others. When the first child arrives, the whole family’s life changes. With the new baby comes a whole host of new issues related to the life of the new family member (health, feeding, rest, play, hygiene, daily comfort, etc.). Sometimes it is quite hard for parents to take care of all these absolutely new aspects in their lives. Accepting help from others can be a form of adjustment with the new baby. The help offered by spouses to each other is by far the most valuable. Sometimes it is necessary to plan activities to allow spouses to take turns to rest. This way of dealing with reality can prevent chronic fatigue and stress for parents.

4. Avoid negative reactions in the presence of the child. These could affect the child emotionally. The child perceives everything with maximum intensity. It is therefore desirable that they perceive positive emotions.

5. Rest when you have the chance. There is no doubt that a parent’s concern for the child in the first year of life is almost total and leads the parent to devote all their time and energy to the child. If the parent does not rest, he or she will become grumpy, irritable, unable to concentrate, forgetful and will treat his or her relationship with the child as an obligation and not as a joy, as would be normal. Rest will help the parent to ‘recharge his batteries’ and maintain his optimism, sense of humour, energy and joy.

6. Enjoy life with the baby. The baby’s smile and new acquisitions are elements of great joy for parents. Live with your child’s joys. Savor the unique moments in your child’s life. Be happy to be a parent!

7. Talk to other parents with children the same age as yours. This will help you to understand that other children behave in much the same way as yours and may have even bigger problems than your child. Talking to other parents will help you to prevent some problems and better understand the normality of some of your child’s behaviour. When you don’t know something, ask.

8. Be tolerant of yourself. When caring for a newborn for the first time, you may make some mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Put your baby’s safety first. Other problems can be solved. Every day you will learn something new with your baby. Sometimes even from your own mistakes. Don’t incriminate yourself, abusively.

9. Don’t forget that the newborn is just a member of the family. Some parents tend to give all their attention to the baby, neglecting other family members. This kind of behaviour becomes harmful and even destructive to the family. That’s why psychologists recommend that each spouse pays enough attention to each other to make the family happy as a whole.

10. Seek specialist help if needed. The baby’s arrival can cause some hormonal, emotional and behavioural changes in parents (especially mothers). If treated superficially or ignored, most problems will not resolve themselves and will worsen, reaching the clinical area. Therefore, both parents need to be attentive to each other and if problems are found, they should be discussed openly and constructively. Seeking medical or psychological advice is perfectly normal.